just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
