he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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