she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
