it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
