Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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