i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
