capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
