I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
