The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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