Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
