I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
whose ass print is on the piano?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
