Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
