At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
