i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
