Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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