Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
