Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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