i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
