they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
