WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
