Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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