the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
