oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
