Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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