oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
