The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
