Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
