i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
