do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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