It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
