Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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