She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
