I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
This house was built for laser tag.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
