So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
