you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
should my penis look like a turkey
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
