i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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