Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
this boner is exhausting
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
