Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
