seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
