He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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