I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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