At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
