brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
