Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
