So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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