Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
