I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
