no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
