they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
