No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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