Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
