Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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